A thousand Splendid Suns

I have always found myself curious of how people can withstand an overflow of continuous agony throughout their entire life, and still be joyful. I cannot imagine the destruction that would conquer my mind, to suffer so many beatings and heartbreaks as Laila and Mariam do. If I did not know any better I would immediately think that a human being would simply die from mental pain. How much pain can a person take before the switch in their brain becomes tangled, causing them to go crazy?

Once I had found myself as lost. In a depressed state, dispersed within my emotions. Everything my conscience told me resulted in discomfort, bitterness, and procrastination. I also developed a lack of confidence at this time. Nothing limited me more. As surprisingly odd as it is to me now, I can remember believing it was normal to never want to leave my room or wear anything of colour. For the reason being that I had lost someone important in my life, I began dealing with it by hiding myself from everyone. It took me weeks before I realized I was in desperate need of family aid and companionship. To compare, I think that this is equivalent to how Laila reacts to her painful life. She finds comfort being unseen beneath her burqa, as long as it prevents the shame that she may feel by being recognized; similar to how I had shielded myself by wearing dark clothing. She fears having to receive sorry looks from others who knew her in her past, to later see her as Rasheed's wife.

As bizarre as this concept is; feeling better by feeling disguised; it is evident that people unleash their emotions in peculiar ways, due to the particular madness and drama that they have experienced. Perhaps the answer to what we are capable of withstanding, has no clear accuracy enough for our minds to understand; because the discoveries of not only who we are, but what we are able to perform seems to be infinite.